• Identify the problem
• Analyze the problem
• Decide on a possible solution
• Make a plan
• Do it
• Evaluate

Many parents don’t realize how easily they can stop a child’s inappropriate behavior. When parents use the six steps to solving problems with more clarity, they can get amazing results. We all use these six steps every day to solve problems. If we didn’t, there would be no problem that would ever be solved!

Also, parents don’t realize how much they contribute to the problem that they are having. Children want to get along with us; it is up to us to show them how.

For example, Judy’s daughter Jasmine has a high decibel scream that she often uses to get her mother’s attention. Mother responds with “What is it my love?” Mom secretly wishes that Jasmine would be quieter, but accepts that that is just the way that she is. Judy says that the she looks forward to when Jasmine goes to bed, because the household is so calm. How can she solve the problem?

First, mom needs to realize that she has a problem and so does everyone else with Jasmine’s screaming.

Second, Jasmine is unpleasant to be around. It is annoying to hear her racket all day. It would be better for Jasmine and for the family if she would use a normal voice like others do.

Third, a solution would be to point out to Jasmine the difference between the shrieking she does and a normal voice that everyone else uses. Strive to get an agreement from her that she will use a normal voice and not shriek. Mom should not reward Jasmine with “What do you want my love?” when she uses that loud voice. Instead, she could say “Please. I only want to hear a pleasant voice.” Or mom could nod her head “no” when she shrieks as a reminder to help her to break the habit. 

Fourth: follow the plan of telling Jasmine the difference between shrieking and a normal voice. Get an agreement from her to not shriek. Remind her that she has not used a normal voice when she doesn’t.

Fifth: Do it. Follow through on the plan.

Sixth: Evaluate if it worked. If it didn’t work go back to step one and start all over again.

Judy reports that once she realized that after years of listening to Jasmine’s shrieking and accepting it because she believed that there was nothing that she could do about it, she used the six steps successfully. After she followed through on her plan, for the first time Jasmine realized what that there was something wrong with how she expressed herself.  It wasn’t her intention to annoy others; she just didn’t realize that she was doing so. It didn’t take long for her to speak in a normal voice most of the time.

Everyday, when people are solving problems they use these six steps. By understanding the steps more clearly, we can use them effectively to figure out solutions to our problems.  These six steps are a powerful analytical tool. Write them down and use them on a problem you are having. After a couple of times doing this, all sorts of issues can be resolved very quickly.